Now, yet further evidence of the dumbing down of America is the Status Shuffle on Facebook. I don't know if it's because I'm a writer, but this application really gets my goat (if I had a goat, that is). Basically, the Status Shuffle is for those people who are too downright lazy to tell their friends what's up. The app gives you a variety of funny lines to choose from (see the one below and try not to blow soy milk out your nose), you select the one you like, and voila your wacky, templated, status update goes up on your wall and out to your friends.
Maybe the boring, the dimwitted, and the stupid need this kind of leg up to compete in the cutthroat world of status updates. I mean, how's Average Joe suppose to keep his online friends if he just tells them he had a great day golfing. Or, is Generic Jane really going to get Terrific Ted to accept her friend request if her last status update says "Took my dog to the new dog park today. Lots of nice people and doggies there!" Heck no! Jane and Joe are doomed without the canned wit of Status Shuffle, right?
Alright, I can already hear you all now. "It's just for fun, Amber. Lighten up." Yeah, yeah, I get that. I guess I just don't like it.
If my friend, Andy Accountant, is a bore, well, I expect that his update will be a snooze. I'm not expecting him to resort to Status Shuffle to make him the funny guy that he simply isn't. Go ahead and post a status update that says you got a new pocket protector today, Andy. That's the real you! Using the Status Shuffle update of "I hate mosquitoes!!! I mean, I know I'm delicious but damn..." is ridiculous.
I guess it boils down to being genuine. Yeah, it's just a fun app. Woo hoo! But, if you're in my online network, it's because I like you. You, just the way you are.
Now tell me how your day really was. I'd like to know...
