The dangers of saying thank you

I'm big on saying please and thank you. However, Emily Post never warned us about the dangers of good etiquette.

You see it all the time on awards show. Actors and directors win an Oscar or an Emmy and when they give their acceptance speeches, they wrack their brains trying to remember everyone to thank. Hilary Swank became the butt of lots of jokes in 2000 when she forgot the thank her hubby Chad Lowe when she won for "Boys Don't Cry".

Most of us don't have to worry about Golden Globe Awards or Oscars, but plenty of us work on cross-departmental teams at work or with groups of people on special projects. When the work goes well, it's important to thank those who made it happen. But, how do you make sure you don't pull a Hilary Swank?  

First and foremost, keep a running list of everyone you work with. Need someone to compile some important data for you? When they deliver, add them to the list and note what they did. Have to bring in someone to help you with code or design? When they submit their deliverables, add them to your list. In short, when someone gives you the materials, assistance, or guidance you need, add them and make note of their contribution. But, only when they they give you what you need (and not just when you ask).

When your project is complete and it's time to acknowledge the people who made it happen, go back to your list. It's easier to omit people that you listed than it is to try to remember the many people who helped you over the weeks, months, or sometimes years that it took to reach your goal. 

Omitting someone from a thank you email, speech, or other form of acknowledgment is downright embarrassing. It makes you look bad and hurts the feelings of the person (or people) that you forgot. Don't let it happen to you.

Sure, thanking people can be dangerous. However, if you're diligent in noting contributors and contributions as you go, you can make yourself a thank you pro!

Social media conferences are like Vegas

Social media conferences bring together thousands of people from across the country, sometimes the globe. People who have built friendships online finally get a chance to meet in real life. And, despite the great content that's offered at conferences such as Blogworld and SXSW, attendees know that the parties are where some of the best networking is.

Since social media quickens one's comfort level amongst strangers, when people finally meet in the flesh they feel as though they're longtime friends. This is one of the great aspects of social media, however that can also lead to some Vegas-like shenanigans. And we all know what happens in Vegas, ends up on Facebook.

For those attending a social media conference, remember that there are thousands of attendees with smartphones, laptops, tablets, and video cameras. The majority live on Twitter, Facebook, and Google+ and most have blogs. These uber-connected folks make a habit of capturing the world around them. It's second nature.

So, if a social media conference is in your future, stay clear of the Vegas drama. Remember these 5 tips to maintain your reputation:

1. Nothing is private 
Even if you think you're having a private conversation, think again. People love sharing OH tweets (for newbies, that means tweeting something you've overheard).

2. You're always under surveillance 
Ok, it's not like when you're being watched by security cameras at the department store, but everyone at social media conferences thinks of their gadgets as their BFFs. Pictures and video are the life blood of these events. Know that at any moment, what you're doing could be documented and posted online for all the world to see. 

3. Everything you do is potential content 
What you say, what you look like, how you act, where you spend the night are all potential fodder (and content) for your fellow attendees. Bloggers are always on the lookout for something to write about. 

4. You're judged by the company you keep 
As with most every multi-day conference, people eventually fall into a crowd. A group they meet up with for meals, cab rides, and after hours antics. Others always notice the company we keep, for better or worse. Are you hanging out with the really smart kids or the ones who drink too much?

5. Don't overshare 
Opening up to people is great, but the person who you really like on day one could be your mortal enemy on day three. Do you want them to have all the dirt on you? Remember, don't gossip about others and don't freely divulge anything that could be used against you.

Remember, conferences are great places to learn and to network. The social gatherings are just as valuable as the sessions and the entire experience can help get you closer to your goals. Just make sure that your professional reputation is still intact by the time it's all over. 

* If you're reading this post via email or in a reader, click the headline to see the video that accompanies this piece.

2 cheap tickets + 1 thank you = loyal customer

Technology is great, but I'm a sucker for an old-fashioned hand-written note. Better yet, drop that note in the mail so I have something in my box other than junk mail and bills and I get lightheaded with glee. Nothing beats getting good mail.

Now, onto the back story. This week, I was lucky enough to attend the L.A. Dodgers versus Chicago Cubs game courtesy of Klout and Score Big. Score Big is a new site that allows users to bid for tickets to get better prices. Ask friends to join, they get a $10 coupon and you get a $10 credit to use toward future purchases. Score Big incentivizes you to tell your friends about the site. I like that. The site is easy to use and the seats were great (unfortunately, random bad luck put the four loudest, most belligerent people in the row behind us).

So, what does this have to do with my aforementioned excitement about getting something unexpected in the mail? Well, after I ordered my tickets through Score Big, imagine my surprise when I received this:

Aja actually took the time to write a note to thank me for using Score Big. I can't remember the last time the guy at the convenience store or the girl at the market thanked me for my purchase. It just doesn't happen anymore. But, Aja picked up a pen, put it to paper, tucked the note into an envelope, and addressed it by hand. Something so simple, yet so appreciated. So old school, yet so classic. Thanking people is timeless.

When was the last time you said thank you to your customers, your clients, your colleagues, or even a stranger? Try it. It wins instant friends and long term loyalty. And, it doesn't break the bank.

Oh, and if you would like an invite to check out Score Big (which includes a $10 coupon!), just let me know in the comments below. There is currently a waiting list to join the site, but I have ten invitations to share with my readers!

9 quick and easy ways to acknowledge your online community

Are you a giver or a taker? Are you grateful for the people who support you? Do you thank them? Do you reciprocate in some way? Or do you just take?

I'm extremely grateful for every hit I get to my blog. Each comment makes me happy. Every "like" makes me giddy. When someone shares my posts via tweet, it makes me smile. I am thankful for each and every one of you and honored that you've chosen to spend your precious time reading what I've written. I don't take any of it for granted and am humbled that you're here.

If you're trying to develop your online network, remember that people have choices. They can choose to engage with you and your content, or they can ignore you. And if they decide to spend their time with you, how will you thank them?

Here are nine of my favorite ways to say thank you to your online network:

Acknowledge Comments: It's amazing to me how many bloggers ignore their readers and allow comments to land in a big black hole. If someone takes the time to comment, let them know that they've been heard.

Subscribe to YouTube Channels: Regardless if you're an active YouTube user or not, find your friends' channels and subscribe to them. "Friends" are nice, but "subscribers" are better.

Tweet and Retweet: Tweets are a quick and easy way to share the love. If someone has supported you, why not support them back and share their content via tweet?

Like Facebook Pages: Do the most active members of your online community have Facebook business pages? If so, throw them a "like". It's free and they'll appreciate it! (If I haven't liked your Facebook page yet, let me know!)

Follow Their Blogs: If someone follows your content, it's a nice gesture to follow theirs back. I've recently created a bundle in Google Reader and added the blogs of those who are most active on my site. Can you do the same? (To subscribe to my bundle, click HERE. If you're not on it, you probably don't have an RSS option for Google Reader. I tried to add several of you, but could only do so via Yahoo!. If I missed you and you have an RSS feed that works with Google Reader, let me know so I can add you!)

Sign up for Their e-Newsletters:  Does someone in your network write a weekly or monthly newsletter? Are they, perhaps, just getting started and want to grow their subscriber numbers? Sign up and chances are you'll be their new best friend!

Create a Special Twitter List: Lists are a great way to acknowledge people. I recently created one called "My Favorite Blog Commenters" and add people to it who have been kind enough to comment on my posts (if I've missed you, let me know!). Can you create something similar to show people that you appreciate them?

Leave Comments on Other Blogs: If someone comments on your blog, return the favor by commenting on their blog. One good deed deserves another.

Write a Recommendation: If your online connection has developed into a more substantial business relationship, how about writing them a recommendation on LinkedIn? Who doesn't like it when someone says something nice about them, hmmm? 

What did I miss? How do you thank your online community? Let's hear it, my friends! (And, thank you all for your readership!)

Please RT? Please bite me!

There's no quicker way to make me shake my head and move on than to write "Please RT" at the end of a tweet. Now, if you are a nonprofit organization trying to raise awareness about an issue, you are the exception. I have no qualms with people spreading philanthropic messages or asking for a retweet to help a worthy cause, either. But, for you regular Joes who write "Plz RT" when you share your own content (e.g. blog post, podcast, video, etc.), you make my eye twitch.

Twitter is a happy place for me; it's me time. Time where I'm calling the shots, tweeting what I find interesting, and sharing with the community. If I find something worthwhile, you bet I'll retweet it. If I want to support someone I like, you can count on me to share their content. But the "Plz RT" after a tweet turns me off. It feels desperate and demanding all at the same time.

If you have retweetable stuff and a targeted audience, it'll get retweeted. It's a beautifully simple process. Sure, alright, sometimes good things won't get retweeted. It happens. But, asking for a retweet just rubs me the wrong way. Sometimes, people even take the request to the next level by asking via direct message.

"Hey Amber! Will you RT my blog post on colors for the nursery that make your baby poop less?"

No, no I won't. If this person knew anything about me they'd realize that's not what I tweet about. My Twitter stream is fairly targeted and focuses on business, writing, social media, and related topics. Not childcare. If I don't RT your post, it doesn't mean I don't like you. But, frankly, I'm a little annoyed about being asked to do something which clearly illustrates you don't know me. Identify your audience and find people who care about baby poop. 

As for putting "Please RT" in a tweet, yes I know it isn't a crime. Nobody dies. No one even gets kicked in the shin. But, it's not something I'm going to respond to. You get retweets by producing good content, establishing relationships with those in your Twitter stream, creating a targeted following, and building a good reputation for knowing your stuff. Not by asking for favors from strangers.

Do you find the "Plz RT" thing a little self-absorbed or am I in this boat all alone?

9 reasons you're a social media dirtbag

We all know the proper way to behave, whether we want to admit it or not.  Regardless of that fact, it seems like way too many people choose to be a lesser version of themselves. Especially in this age of social media. Why? Maybe because they can and there is no one who will tell them to shape up and cut the BS.

Today, however, I'm appointing myself as hall monitor for the social media corridor. My top 9 offenses are below (tickets with unreasonably high fines will be issued later):

1. You post unflattering photos of people to Facebook, Flickr, or other social media sites.
2. You've stopped tweeting with your friends so you can talk to more "important" people who will help increase your Klout score.
3. You won't recommend a deserving colleague on LinkedIn because you're insecure enough to think it diminishes your own accomplishments.
4. You've bought your Twitter followers.
5. You offer webinars that promise to deliver free information, but instead you pitch an overpriced "system" which is nothing but common sense.
6. You don't ever respond to people when they send you a tweet (or you DM your response to them because they're not important enough to be mentioned in your stream). 
7. You use information from social media sites to get friends or colleagues into trouble.
8. You refer to yourself as an expert or a guru.
9. You only talk about yourself and never promote the good work of others.

We all know a list isn't complete unless it has at least ten points, so what would you add? Feel free to chime in below to let us know what the social media dirtbags are doing in your part of the interweb.

Does your cocktail have cooties?

I attend a lot of networking events and, as such, I am a frequent observer of human behavior. Now, based on the title of this piece, you might speculate that I intend to write about mickeys, roofies, or drink tampering. Not today. Today is all about good manners--and germs.

This week, at an business event, I was talking with a friend at the bar. I had just ordered a Coke and was enjoying the conversation when the bartender set down my soda. As a helpful gesture, my friend went to grab the drink to move it closer to me. Harmless enough, right? Well, imagine my horror when she grabbed the drink by the top of the glass! 

For those of you who have no problems buying food off the street from unknown sources or never think about how many sniffly, sneezy, sickies have held the stylist that you use to sign your name for credit card purchases, you probably have no idea what my issue is. For the rest of you, you know where I'm headed.

My friend's fingers touched the rim of the glass. The same rim where my lips go to sip on the drink!

Granted, I'm aware that 99.9% of the public wouldn't even notice this, but I did. And, I'm pretty sure my face scrunched up when I saw it happen. I did hold back the shriek, though.

So, here's my etiquette tip of the day:

If you touch someone's drink, always grab the glass at the bottom. Never the top. Never. 

Granted, this probably isn't even on the radar of most people, but aside from being sanitary, it's just good manners. Now, I suspect no one will ever pass me a drink from this point forward, but that's alright with me. The fewer cooties, the better.

Want to meet me at the next networking mixer? You'll know me when you see me. I'm the gal with the long red hair and the gallon jug of hand sanitizer.

Do you bring your social network into the voting booth or church pew with you?

When I first became active on social networking sites, I decided to never tweet about politics or post a status update about religion. These are two areas which are off limits in my personal playbook.

In this day and age where everyone has a soap box and a forum upon which to share their opinions with others, I see many people, however, who openly voice their voting decisions, their views on controversial political issues, their prayers, and their love of, or disbelief in, God. For right or wrong, knowing this information makes me feel closer--or more distant--from these people. Although opposites attract, I believe more fully in "birds of a feather flock together" and, yes, if you share my opinion on any of these issues, I will most likely feel a closer connection to you.

When we discover we have a common belief system with someone, it usually does create a bond of sorts. Will this make Joe more likely to want to hire Sally as a consultant because she's in support of SB101 like he is? (I made up that Senate bill, so don't look it up.) If Joe sees Sally say she's in support of same sex marriage and he isn't, will Joe be more likely to hire Sam (who either has the same opinion as Joe or has not publicly announced an opinion at all)? Do social networking sites open up a whole Pandora's Box when it comes to our private lives and very personal beliefs?

As for me, if I see someone share something political or religious that I agree with, I may, and have on occasion, sent a private message to them saying that it's nice to know they're a kindred spirit. I did this twice today, which actually gave me the idea for this post. And, although I respect everyone's right to share what they please and cast no judgment on their decision to do so, I still choose to censor myself on certain topics.

In person, I do enjoy a spirited discussion on evolution versus creation or any number of controversial or provocative topics. However, in person, my comments have context. In person, I choose who hears what I say and who I engage with. On social networking sites, I may be throwing out my opinion to thousands of strangers.

It used to be that it was completely inappropriate to ask someone who they voted for, and to do so was considered ignorant. I suppose, I'm still a bit old school in keeping certain aspects of my life private. Am I alone in this? Do you want to see how I've filled out my sample ballot or know who I do or don't worship?

Is there room in the voting booth for me and my entire social network?

Death to the Butt Dialer

Every Saturday morning while I'm still nestled in bed, the Butt Dialer calls. Yesterday, in an effort to curb a killer headache, I laid down to take a nap. The Butt Dialer knew. He called me five times in 60 minutes. The Butt Dialer always knows when I'm sleeping and I want him or her to take a long walk off a short pier.

You know who I'm talking about. The person who puts their cell phone in their back pocket and accidentally dials someone from their phone book. It's unintentional, but as they shift or sit, their butt cheek hits dial and send. The Butt Dialer never just calls me once, they call four or five times in an hour. On Saturdays, they call when I'm in my peak REM sleep. There isn't anyone on the line per se, but I can hear them walk. I recognize the sound of pant legs rubbing together and I occasionally hear garbled noises in the background.

The number they're calling me at is a landline and I don't have caller ID. I've tried to *69 them, but I receive a recording that that option won't work on that number. I've tried to block them, but my phone company won't let me block a cell number. The Butt Dialer is harassing me relentlessly and they don't even know it.

Yesterday, I thought I had my first clue. The faint sound of a baby crying. I only know one person with an infant, so I quickly sent a tweet to ask if he could check his phone to see if he might have accidentally called me five times. He responded and said no. Back to square one.

Now, I don't think the call is emanating from a purse; I can hear too much ambient noise. I'm almost positive the phone resides in a back pocket and has an intimate relationship with this person's butt check. I don't know if I'm the unlucky recipient of these calls because my first and last names begin with an "A" and I come up first in their phone book, but I suspect that might be the case.

If you have my number and you read this post, I implore you to check your phone to see if you're calling me. It's usually bright and early on Saturday mornings, but this week I got bonus Wednesday aggravation. I've come to cringe when my phone rings, knowing that this is just the first of a thread of calls from the dreaded Butt Dialer.

As a point of responsible electronics ownership, I hope this post serves as a reminder to use the lock feature on your cell phone. It's there for just this reason. It will preserve your minutes and prevent you from accidentally harassing your friends and making them miserable.

Have your own Butt Dialer horror story or solution? I'm all ears.